This Children's Mental Health Awareness Week, the theme "This Is My Place" challenges us to think about what it truly means to create safe places of belonging for children and young people.
For autistic children and those with social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) needs, a safe place isn't just about physical safety. It's about creating environments where they feel genuinely understood, valued, and able to be themselves without fear of judgment or punishment.
For autistic children and those with social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) needs, a safe place isn't just about physical safety. It's about creating environments where they feel genuinely understood, valued, and able to be themselves without fear of judgment or punishment.
Understanding what "My Place" means
When we ask children what makes them feel safe and like they belong, their answers often surprise us. It's not always about the physical environment or resources — though these matter. It's about how they're treated in moments of difficulty.
A young person we work with shared something powerful: "Sometimes it took me a long time to think about my work, and teachers rushed me to do something. I was still thinking about it."
This simple insight reveals a fundamental challenge in many educational and care settings: our well-intentioned urgency can feel like the opposite of safety for children who process information differently.
The hidden impact of processing differences
Many autistic children and young people with SEMH needs experience challenges with processing speed and executive function. They need time to:
- Understand what's being asked of them
- Formulate appropriate responses
- Regulate their emotional reactions
- Navigate complex social expectations
When staff members are trained to recognise these needs, they can create environments where thinking time is valued, not rushed. Where silence isn't interpreted as refusal or defiance. Where children feel: "This is my place. I belong here."
The Respect approach: prevention through understanding
Our trauma-informed training is built on a tiered approach that prioritises prevention and relationship-building over reactive intervention:
Primary strategies: creating the foundation
This is where most of our work happens — and where the greatest impact occurs. Our training helps teams develop:
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Positive relationships built on trust and rapport
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Sensory-friendly environments
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Predictable routines and clear expectations
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Early warning sign recognition
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Individualised behaviour support plans
Secondary strategies: de-escalation with dignity
When children begin to struggle, our training equips staff with communication and de-escalation techniques that maintain connection and dignity:
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Clear, concise communication with calm body language
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Offering genuine choices and time to process
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Thoughtful redirection and distraction
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Access to sensory tools and safe spaces
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Maintaining relationships even during difficult moments
Tertiary strategies: last resort only
Physical restraint and restrictive interventions should always be a last resort. We equip teams only with the techniques relevant to their specific needs, avoiding unnecessary training in restrictive interventions unless genuinely required.
When well-intentioned strategies create unintended harm
One of the most important insights from our work with children and young people is this: interventions designed to help don't always feel helpful from the child's perspective.
As one young person told us: “I felt singled out if I was removed from a room.”
Being removed from a classroom or group might be framed as a “break,” a “reset,” or a “calming strategy.” But for children who are acutely aware of social dynamics, this can trigger feelings of:
- Isolation
- Being different or “broken”
- Punishment
- Not belonging
Maintaining connection during crisis
Our training helps teams ask critical questions before implementing any intervention:
- How does this feel from the child's perspective?
- Are we creating safety or reinforcing feelings of being different?
- Could we achieve the same outcome while maintaining connection?
- What does this child need right now to feel safe and supported?
When children stay connected to their community during difficult moments, they develop the trust and skills needed to regulate independently.
Creating communication safety
Communication breakdowns are often at the heart of escalating situations. Many children with SEMH needs and autism experience a profound challenge: feeling like their communication is constantly misinterpreted, dismissed, or punished.
One young person captured this perfectly: “I felt like I'd be in trouble whatever I said.”
Imagine being a child who struggles to process questions, formulate responses quickly, and navigate complex social expectations — all while fearing that anything you say might be “wrong.”
Supporting communication beyond words
Communication isn't just about words. It includes:
- Behaviour as communication
- Multiple communication pathways (visuals, play, music, Makaton, sign language)
- Processing time
- Sensory-aware communication
- Trauma-informed listening
When staff create communication safety, children begin to feel: “My voice matters here. I can express myself without fear. This is my place.”
Meaningful debriefing: learning, growth, and relationship repair
What happens after a difficult incident is just as important as what happens during it.
Traditional debriefs often focus on paperwork and identifying “what went wrong.” While documentation matters, this approach misses a critical opportunity: learning, growth, and relationship repair.
The Respect debriefing framework
Understanding what really happened:
- Early warning signs
- Unmet needs
- Sensory triggers
- Communication breakdowns
- Escalation points
- Whether restraint was truly last resort
Creating the right conditions:
- Timing that suits the child
- Calm, familiar environments
- Communication tools that match the child
- Collaborative, empathetic approach
Focusing on prevention and empowerment:
- Revising support plans
- Identifying sensory accommodations
- Rebuilding trust
- Supporting self-regulation
When de-escalation works: celebrating success
When de-escalation works well, we encourage teams to:
- Celebrate what the child did well
- Identify what worked
- Analyse the turning point
- Highlight coping skills
- Build confidence
- Offer meaningful rewards
This reinforces resilience and self-efficacy.
From reactive to proactive
Creating safe places of belonging requires cultural change across entire organisations.
Through our work with affiliate organisations across diverse settings — learning disability services, autism services, acute hospitals, brain injury units, residential care, supported living — we’ve seen powerful transformations when organisations commit to:
- Leadership commitment
- Embedding lived experience
- Ongoing learning and quality improvement
- Measuring what matters
These include:
- Quality of therapeutic relationships
- Staff confidence
- Children’s sense of safety and belonging
- Environmental and cultural indicators of wellbeing
Supporting your team's journey
We understand organisations are at different stages of their trauma-informed journey. Whether you're beginning or deepening your practice, we’re here to support you.
Our approach is collaborative, context-aware, and person-centred.
Because every child deserves a place where they truly belong.